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The Secure Self will help readers understand why they cling, chase and over-give in relationships, and, more importantly, what to do instead. Stephanie Rigg brings warmth and real-world practicality to one of the most painful patterns people live with.
DR. SCOTT LYONS, founder of the embody lab
Steph is a rare voice of relational clarity and wisdom in a sea of polarising pop-psychology perspectives. She deeply understands and champions the profound human longing for connection and safety. These pages offer us both power and peace in navigating our deepest relational hurts and fears.
James 'fish' gill, heart coach & author of how to fall in love with humanity
The Secure Self is a warm, wise and deeply practical guide for anyone who has ever lost themselves trying to feel safe in love. Stephanie weaves research, client stories and her own honest journey into simple, doable steps that help readers come home to themselves and build the steady foundation every relationship needs.
lael stone, author of own your story and host humans, being podcast
In The Secure Self, Stephanie Rigg, relationship coach and host of the world’s leading attachment podcast, On Attachment, offers readers a different path: one that leads not toward fixing their relationships, but toward first building something more foundational—a secure relationship with themselves.
Drawing on years of guiding thousands of clients and students, as well as her own lived experience of anxious attachment, she reframes this attachment style not as a flaw, but as a pattern rooted in a deeply human need for connection—one that, once understood, can begin to shift towards something steadier and more secure.
Heal the unhealthy patterns of an anxious attachment style by rebuilding your most essential relationship—with yourself—in this guide from the host of the world’s leading attachment theory podcast.
by Stephanie Rigg
7,000+
Clients & students served
40+
Countries our students are from
10M+
Podcast downloads
6,500+
5-star podcast reviews
PRE-ORDER THE SECURE SELF TO CLAIM YOUR BONUS PACKAGE
EXCLUSIVE
BONUS PACKAGE
As a thank you for pre-ordering the book, I've put together a bonus package valued at over $350 — including an exclusive 3-part workshop series on the core wounds of anxious attachment.
when you pre-order a copy of the secure self, you'll receive:
Workshop #1
The Abandonment Wound
The fear of abandonment is at the heart of anxious attachment, and drives so many of our insecure behaviours in relationship.
In this workshop, you'll learn about where the abandonment wound comes from, physical vs. emotional abandonment, how this wound drives insecure behaviours, and the link between a fear of abandonment and self-abandonment.
INSTANT ACCESS
Workshop #2
The Fear of Rejection
The fear of rejection convinces us that it's too risky to let ourselves be truly seen — and that we have to be perfect in order to be chosen.
In this workshop, you'll learn about where the fear of rejection comes from and how it blocks us from experiencing the deep, authentic relationships we long for.
RELEASED NOVEMBER 10
Workshop #3
The Unworthiness Wound
Perhaps the most universal of core wounds is the belief that we are unworthy — whether that's too much, or not enough — and must prove ourselves in order to "earn" the love we long we for.
In this workshop, you'll learn about the origins of the unworthiness wound, how it shows up in our relationships, and what it takes to truly heal.
released DECEMBER 10
